Imma Pilot
Imma pilot, look into my eyes.
Then you will see that I fly too high.
Imma pilot, look into my eyes.
Then you will see that I fly so high.
High.
Nikc: lead vocals, rhythm guitar
Ryan: drums, lead guitar, background vocals
Brian: bass guitar
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: intimidation
You’re Too Skinny
Take you to the buffet, you grab nothin’ to eat.
You’re just a rail-thin bitch with some big-ass feet.
You eat half a salad and you say you’re full.
I paid $12.50, and that aint cool.
I’m gonna take you home ‘cause I’m ready to fuck (been ready to fuck).
Girl you just got a pelvis and you don’t have a butt.
Got deep-tissue bruises when you rode on top.
I didn’t bust a nut, I just told you to stop.
Skinny, too skinny, you aint got no boobies or butt.
If a girl is too skinny she aint gonna make the cut with me.
You’re too skinny!
Don’t be shy, eat some pie.
Three point one four!
Not that kind of pie.
But that aint half as bad as some of these bands,
With fake British accents that I can’t understand.
No eatin’, getting drunk on Listerine,
Fat kid in the back hitting a tambourine.
Grown ass man in a baby tee,
In an emo band, crying constantly.
You’re only depressed ‘cause you don’t eat.
You tried to take a shit but fell through the seat.
Skinny, too skinny, you can’t even press twenty pounds.
If a guy is too skinny he aint gonna last three rounds with me.
You’re too skinny!
Don’t be shy, eat some pie.
Three point one four!
Not that kind of pie.
You’re too skinny!
Don’t be shy, eat some pie.
Whipped cream topping!
Now that’s what I’m talking about.
Steve: lead vocals
Nikc: rhythm guitar, yelling
Ryan: drums, lead guitar, yelling
Brian: bass guitar, yelling
Mike: yelling, intimidation
Gimme’ Somethin’ I’ve Heard Of
Gimme’ somethin’ I’ve heard of,
I’ll give you somethin’ you like.
Gimme’ mashed potatoes,
And I’ll turn on the light.
Well I’m the meanest motherfucker you’ve ever seen.
And I’ll tell you again,
Well I’m drunk on sin.
And I’ll do it again.
Nikc: lead vocals, rhythm guitar
Brian: bass guitar
Ryan: drums
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: intimidation
If There Aint No Poon In Heaven
Pleased to meet you here again,
I see you’re doing well.
Took your damned sweet time to finally die,
Your heartbeat couldn’t tell.
My funeral was a bust,
A product of your lust.
But if there aint no poon in heaven,
I’ll swing my nuts in hell.
Ahhhh.
Happy new years once again,
Passed another dozen eggs.
But it seems to me the best part of me
Ran down my mother’s legs.
But if I were to be born again,
I’d do it all the same.
‘Cept let Satan off the hook,
And let God take all the blame.
Ahhhh.
Nikc: lead vocals, rhythm guitar
Ryan: drums, lead guitar
Brian: bass guitar
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: intimidation
Blood of the Meat
Can’t stop this train from wreckin’.
Can’t turn up this plane going down.
Hell is on fire, we can smell it.
Darkness got its lights turned down.
Choo, choo that’s good eatin’,
As we shovel in the meat by the pound,
And turn up our face to the whole human race.
I can make George Washington smile.
By the blood of the meat
You can tell if it’s sweet.
If it aint, throw the bones away.
Fuck no, Jesus Christ,
We aint got sugar and spice.
I’ll be damned if I swing that way.
Working the next four hours,
Trying to get paid by today.
Shoveling our shit just to get rid of it
And the smell has long been this way.
Throw in the towel ‘cause I’m tired,
And I didn’t get to eat last night.
If the Tower of Babel
Could put meat on the table
Then entonces podria tambien.
I got in trouble last weekend
For holding a gun that wasn’t mine.
If I ever get out of prison,
Gonna drink top-shelf until it’s time to die.
Nikc: lead vocals, rhythm guitar, lead guitar
Brian: bass guitar, harmonica
Ryan: drums
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: intimidation
George W.
Please don’t fly off the handle.
You are only a beauty queen.
I would smoke you like a candle,
But George W stole my weed.
You’re an amateur investor.
You own all the cash you see.
You’re an animal molestor.
George W burned down your trees.
Does anyone ever bury their dead
In their own backyard anymore?
You gave all your private assets
To a hooker on the street.
You said Darwin was a smackhead
And when you stood up George W stole your seat.
So you adopted every member
Of your Nazi regime.
You’ll be back though in November,
Part of the George W team.
Does anyone ever bury their dead
In their own backyard anymore?
Now you throw up every apple
That you ever tried to eat.
And when you’re alone you hear the crackle
As George W severs your feet.
‘Cause George W makes me bleed.
Steve: lead vocals
Nikc: rhythm guitar, backing vocals
Brian: bass guitar
Ryan: drums
Mike: tambourine, intimidation
I Wish I Was A Black Man
Last night I took a journey to the center of my soul.
Pretty goblin broke the ice and scraped the mold off rock n’ roll.
Cracked the mirror, gunned the beer
Blast into Nintendosphere.
God loves me, my name’s Tony,
I wish I was a black man.
Aint it funny how they tell you to never hit a girl?
But I’ve never took the time of day to talk to hens and squirrels.
Cut the meat, get off the street,
If you bake with heat then change your sheets.
God loves me, I’m eighty-three,
I wish I was a black man.
I never went to school and I read about my chi.
But I graduated college with a three-sixty degree.
Cut my cheek, break the seat,
Got Fanta, Coke, but no Pepsi.
God’s lookin’ for me, I got his weed,
I wish I was a black man.
Don’t ever let them tell you that my father was a man.
Got bugs and rats and spiders all tattooed upon his hands.
Broken jaw, judgement call,
Use pesticides to kill them all.
God called the law, kicked in the balls,
I wish I was a black man.
One day I hope to death that I’ll be working for the state.
When pussy’s free I’ll bend my knees and never masturbate.
Shoot to kill, fire at will,
Her name was Jill, she stole my pills.
God don’t love me, he took my key,
I wish I was a black man.
God don’t know me, paid hourly,
I wish I was a black man.
Nikc: lead vocals, guitar
Ryan: orchestra
Lone Wolf and Cub
Name Lone Wolf and Cub
Father and son assassin
Baby cart in hell.
Cuttin’ bitches up
Cuttin’ bitches up
You know what the fuck is up.
Slice and slice and chop
And slice and slice and slice and chop.
Ogami Itto
Was head executioner
Now he’s a hired sword.
Daigoro the son
Accomplice in the killings
Death in a diaper.
Boy pees from the trees
Father slays the stunned Ronin
Such a naughty tyke.
Steve: lead vocals
Nikc: rhythm guitar, yelling
Ryan: drums, lead guitar, yelling
Brian: bass guitar, yelling
Mike: tambourine, yelling, intimidation
Look Around
Look around, look around,
There’s a lot of dumb shit going down.
You can smell it in the air,
You feel it with your bare hands.
Come on now, do you see it now?
There’s a lot of dumb shit going down.
Feel me now, look around, look around.
America is ugly, she looks like a whale.
The people are tired and the Wonderbread is stale.
If the world stopped abrubt we’d howl at the moon.
We’d fall off, get stuck, and I’m going to hell soon.
Look around, look around,
As I plant my feet in the ground.
You can feel it’s made of air,
And it’s burning down your sweat glands.
Come on now, do you see it now?
There’s a lot of dumb shit going down.
Feel me now, look around, look around.
Everywhere I look, the people are yawning.
The sun is still dawn and the ice age is stalling.
A new year is coming, a new day is something.
Else what does this mean? We gotta talk about it.
Look around, look around,
There’s a lot of dumb shit going down.
You can smell it in the air,
You feel it with your bare hands.
Come on now, do you see it now?
There’s a lot of dumb shit going down.
Feel me now, look around, look around.
If success is a drug then I’m sober.
If poetry is darkness I’m bright.
If goodness is God, I’m the devil.
And you’re my sweetheart tonight.
If love is the people, I’m lonesome.
And I really just can’t be surprised.
The beat of the organ just melted
And the pressure I felt in my eyes.
Nikc: lead vocals, acoustic guitar, banjo
Brian: bass guitar, electric guitar
Steve: backing vocals, jew harp
Ryan: accordion
Sluice Box Love
Load up your pickup truck.
Slip on your favorite boots now.
Wipe the dust from your hip-waders,
And all your special tools like
Your metal detector,
And your chisel and hammer.
Now, don’t you worry,
Soon you’ll be sifting through the slurry.
Gonna find that precious gold,
Gonna hit that mother load,
With my sluice box, and a pan.
Grab your shovel dig the promised land.
Heading up towards the hills.
I know of a real good claim now.
Listen close, hear the bedrock
Calling your name.
Got a hankering for the yellow stuff.
I’m sifting flakes right out of the slate rock.
With my sluice and my dredge,
Cribbing the whole vein.
I think I’ve got a hard-on.
We’ll always be together….
Ryan: lead vocals, lead guitar, drums
Brian: bass guitar
Nikc: rhythm guitar, backing vocals
Dana Peterson, Kory Henneman, Steve: backing vocals
Mike: tambourine, intimidation
DaVinci Blues
Jesus was my Grandpappy,
And Satan is my dad.
You don’t wanna fuck around with me,
You don’t wanna make me made.
‘Cause I’ve got all these powers
I’m not sure that I should use.
And if you wanna be my friend
I’ll give up happiness you sure could lose.
She said you keep on drinking whiskey
And you’re sure gonna kill yourself.
But my blood runs free from impurities
And it don’t affect my wealth.
And I’ve got people looking for me,
Hoping they’ll be saved.
And I took my girl for ransom notes,
Vaseline and razor blades.
Oh something’s got me mad that
Disgraced the family name.
But I feel it’s all some sad fad,
These people are insane.
But if you want I could take
Some of my own advice.
I’m drinking tall-boy Schlitz
And getting high with my grandpa’s wife.
I spoke with Aristotle
And I spoke with Socrates
And I caught up with DaVinci
About how she got caught up with me.
And I said “You may not be an angel
But you’ll surely do.
And until one finally comes along
I’m gonna stick around with you.
Nikc: lead vocals, guitar
Brian: bass guitar
Ryan: drums, guitar
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: tambourine, intimidation
My Three Sons
It helped me open my mind,
It took me somewhere I’d never been before.
Then I was craving something that I could not find
Until I opened my three sons’ bedroom door.
Sparkling rainbows in the sky above.
Birds with scintillating feathers of mercury.
My heart was filled with an everlasting love,
Only requited by buckets of beef jerky.
You made me eat my sons,
You awful, awful drugs.
I’ll never take you again
Unless I really, really need it.
The doctors and nurses they put me on meds,
And my psychotherapist took me to picnics instead.
And now I wet my mouth because I remember the taste
Of my adopted little friends.
I’m lying face down on the floor.
Feel the banging from my freezer door
While I’m eating the carpet and living the life.
Letting my tongue bite down now into the knife.
You made me eat my sons,
You precious, precious drugs.
I’d love to take you again,
But I got some new drugs instead.
Nikc: lead vocals, guitar
Brian Holsey: organ
Ryan: drums, fake theremin, backing vocals
Brian: bass guitar
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: percussion, intimidation
Don’t Let Jesus Ruin Your Day
Burned my bridge the other day.
It wasn’t hard to start a flame.
Met the devil down the street,
Grabbed a beer and a bite to eat.
Tied one on that there night.
Just me and him, what a lovely sight.
A lot of promise he saw in me.
This advice he gave to me.
Don’t let Jesus ruin your day.
Just let the Devil have his way.
Life’s too short to wonder why
We’re all gonna burn when we die.
Then I saw the devil walking out that there door.
Stumbled out the tavern to get into his car.
I said, “Hey man, you okay to drive?
He shook his head, “Yeah,” though I knew he wasn’t.
Backed into a flagpole in the middle of the street.
Ran into a police officer, gave him the finger.
Now I aint seen him since that night,
But I always follow his advice.
Oh yeah, I heard he got busted for touching kids.
Don’t let Jesus ruin your day.
Just let the Devil have his way.
Life’s too short to wonder why
We’re all gonna burn when we die.
Just hang your cross upon the shelf,
And give your pain to someone else.
People act like it’s a crime;
Live your life like I live mine.
Nikc: lead vocals, rhythm guitar
Brian: bass guitar
Ryan: drums, lead guitar, backing vocals
Kory Henneman: backing vocals
Steve: backing vocals
Mike: intimidation